I feel sick... How romantic.

There is one star.... It is faded, and it used to be innocently white and full of life... This star has stuck around for a long time. I love it, I care for it... But I seem to have looked another way. The white star has faded to blue into the absolute loneliness of space, never coming closer, never leaving, never staying, the promises once made never kept... It seems to be taking backwards steps emotionally. I do love it. I do care for it. Where is it going? Everything I ever do will remind me of it in the back of my head... Honestly, I will miss it and everything it gave me forever.
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There is something called ash; it just so happens to be those specks I see in my eye when I stare too long into space. They're really annoying, a thing of the past coming to haunt me, and my apple tree. I need to learn to ignore them, but whenever these feelings come up, I start to wonder, what would happen if I had not met the fire that spit ash at me in the first place? This wildfire, such a stupid thing, full of rage and lies, anger... Was it pity, is this regret? Or is this feeling truly hatred?
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There is this apple tree, I love her and I know I do. In this whole mess, she is the only thing I am sure of. She is so wonderful to me, I definitely love her so, everything about her. The only reason I wake up every morning and drag myself to the places I do not want to go.... I love her flowers, her leaves, her thin fragile branches...Just being close leaves me content. I love it. I will protect it, for it is mine, it is beautiful, and something special.
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There is another star, I do not know it well, still. I miss it a lot. I talk about it a lot, to my friends on my planet. It is really an astounding person from what I know already. Why do I feel so strongly? The star is sweet and kind much unlike a lot of people I know. It also has me confused. It makes me walk like a spinda. What? I have no idea. It is a very complex thing, this star. I do not feel complete the days I do not see or hear from it, so I do not feel so good. I have not seen it in a while. I really really do miss it. When will I see my star again? I do not think it would feel how I feel anyway... I guess I just need time to think. That's good for everyone.

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The feelings are right, but wrong, so wrong, but so right- they grow like a single pink rose from my little heart, its petals passionately painted like blush on my cheeks, its leaves, everything, pristine and perfect in so many ways. I pray the petals do not wither, ever. I do so enjoy this feeling, but... This rose is lonely all my itself. Can roses grow from a star, the same way a rose has grown from me?

Where did this come from, really? I need to just stop and sit in the dark for a while. Thanks...