I haven't felt this way in years.

I'm sitting here anxiously. I feel restless and nervous and scared. I feel like I'm opening a present that could potentially be a bomb to my heart; or, perhaps, a flower with a sweet scent that will ease every sense of worry I ever had. I feel tired and about to collapse from this long, exciting day, but so curious that I must stay awake. I can't keep my eyes fixed on the words I long to read, I am afraid of the answer. I hope this doesn't change anything, but I hope it changes everything, too.